Babies and Puppies

At the end of every day, I tell myself that I will be fine. I know these feelings are temporary. I know that I am a very strong person. Here’s the surprise though, the bad feelings are not because of the divorce. Yes, divorce sucks, and losing your partner in any capacity is difficult, but I have come to peace with that. What I didn’t expect was all the other stuff. I wonder if it’s true that women have a biological disposition to be the caretaker? I know we hear that growing up, but I’m not a scientist, nor do […]

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Email and South Street

Sometimes email is not my friend. The subject line read, “Congratulations! Your divorce has been granted.” It was from my attorney informing me that the divorce decree had been approved by the courts. This is a formality, but marks the end of my marriage legally. Still in a state of shock, I called my mother first and then casually told some friends. They asked if I cried, but I didn’t cry. I started working frantically that day. Then, by night, had reverted to my teenage self, looking for a distraction in all the wrong places. When I was in High […]

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Dragonflies and Heartbreak

2003, it was another long year for me. I was living right outside of Philadelphia and working for Verizon. It was a terrible job that paid really well. I sold ads for the yellow pages, and during my tenure, there learned everything I loved and hated about the corporate world. I drove a Dodge Durango that guzzled gas and was much larger than I needed. I lived in a twin home that had been built in a new development with perfectly lined streets. I had a yellow lab named Maine and a diamond on my finger. It was terrible. I […]

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Triggers and the bin

And just like that, tomorrow I’ll be divorced. It’s amazing how fast the process is to close the book on a 13-year relationship. The papers will be signed tomorrow morning, the negotiations are complete, and our marriage will be officially dissolved. Although, as of tomorrow, we will no longer legally be married, I believe that our hearts will still need more time to accept that truth. The ex came over this weekend to spend time with the pups and have breakfast. We spent some time talking and preparing to sign the papers. While there was no question this was the […]

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24 Hours on Tinder

Shall we lighten it up a bit? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked if I’m going to start dating again. The answer for right now is “no”, and I suspect that will remain the answer for a while. Having said that, I’m not immune to the desire of human interaction in a flirtatious capacity. I’ve always been a good flirt, which is said to be a trait of being a true Gemini. I crave human interaction. This is all probably related to self-worth and self-validation issues, but let’s save that for therapy. At the suggestion of […]

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Floating on a sea of Rosé and Denial

There is no easy way to say it, so I’m just going to be direct, Ccelli and I are getting a divorce. We have set each other free and soon it will be final in the eyes of the law. We have had a beautiful life over the last 13 years with a lot of ups and a lot of downs. You start to quickly learn that although love conquers all, it doesn’t necessarily sustain it all. There are no regrets, but there are a lot of tears. I loved being a wife. I was good at it. You can […]

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