Triggers and the bin

And just like that, tomorrow I’ll be divorced. It’s amazing how fast the process is to close the book on a 13-year relationship. The papers will be signed tomorrow morning, the negotiations are complete, and our marriage will be officially dissolved. Although, as of tomorrow, we will no longer legally be married, I believe that our hearts will still need more time to accept that truth. The ex came over this weekend to spend time with the pups and have breakfast. We spent some time talking and preparing to sign the papers. While there was no question this was the […]

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Fainting into the nativity scene

One time in high school, I fainted coming out of the shower. I was a known fainter in my youth, especially in church. In fact, there was one Christmas morning while doing the readings at mass with my Grandmother, that I fell right over into the nativity scene. Our priest didn’t miss a beat, but my mother made a sprint down the center aisle to revive me. I mean literally, the priest didn’t even stop mass because I’m sure he was thinking, “There goes that Saueraker girl, fainting again.” It was so known that I often fainted, my Grandmother kept […]

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24 Hours on Tinder

Shall we lighten it up a bit? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked if I’m going to start dating again. The answer for right now is “no”, and I suspect that will remain the answer for a while. Having said that, I’m not immune to the desire of human interaction in a flirtatious capacity. I’ve always been a good flirt, which is said to be a trait of being a true Gemini. I crave human interaction. This is all probably related to self-worth and self-validation issues, but let’s save that for therapy. At the suggestion of […]

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Love the Inside

Moving Truck

Last year, when we were deciding to buy a house, we set our sites on Mt. Airy. I had wanted a home for us more than anything. I mentioned earlier that I loved being a wife. There is a joy that comes from making dinner, entertaining friends, and keeping a home feeling like a home. Making a meal for someone is something so pure and real to me. You take ingredients provided by the universe and change them into something that will nourish someone. Not to mention the memories that so easily become attached to food. If I think back […]

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Giftbags and Sofas

To all those who went through a divorce before me, I’m sorry I didn’t realize how hard and painful it was. I mean, I knew it was difficult, but I had no idea how difficult. I’m sorry I wasn’t more supportive, but I promise from now on, I will make it my responsibility to help those who need it during this time.

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Floating on a sea of Rosé and Denial

There is no easy way to say it, so I’m just going to be direct, Ccelli and I are getting a divorce. We have set each other free and soon it will be final in the eyes of the law. We have had a beautiful life over the last 13 years with a lot of ups and a lot of downs. You start to quickly learn that although love conquers all, it doesn’t necessarily sustain it all. There are no regrets, but there are a lot of tears. I loved being a wife. I was good at it. You can […]

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