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January 7, 2017 No Comments

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Life is so weird. For the first time in years my p

Life is so weird. For the first time in years my personal life is great. I’ve honestly never been happier.

Then Friday happens and I was fine until I wasn’t. I got hit with a wave of emotions. I was triggered. I ran around the house cleaning, baking, and cooking. I think I just didn’t know what else to do. I made so much food 🤦🏻‍♀️.

I talked to friends, which I really needed. I cried. I got hit with a massive wave of grief.

And then I got mad …

So mad ... at people making decisions for me. Mad at men. Mad at the world.

I woke up the next day and realized that I had to live life. The life, that in the first time in years, I love.

How do you reconcile being happy with your existence and hating the world around you?

I heard a “spiritual” person online say to ignore all the noise because it’s just a “movie”. She followed that up with a quote from Hunger Games. Now while I believe that we create our reality, I also believe I was put here to use all my lives helping others. There is privilege in being able to ignore whats happening.

So I’m going to figure out how to be mad and also grateful. How to be sad and happy. How to grieve and move forward. Hugs to all of you!

#selflove #love #life #happiness #inspiration #mindfullness #healing #believe #grateful

Happy Solstice! Happy Litha! Blessed Midsummer! Ha

Happy Solstice! Happy Litha! Blessed Midsummer! Happy longest day of the year …

Whatever you call it, just know that today is magical! Today should be filled with fire, delicious fresh food, nature, and flowers!

I’ve been feeling so fortunate lately. I may have lost a lot over the years but the people and things that stayed around mean the most to me.

Thank you to my wonderful circle of people. I adore you. I hope you make magic today! ☀️💕☀️💐☀️

#selflove #love #life #happiness #inspiration #mindfullness #healing #believe #grateful #summersoltice #midsummer #litha

‘Appreciation’ Earth was not Earth before her

‘Appreciation’

Earth was not Earth before her sons appeared,
Nor Beauty Beauty ere young Love was born:
And thou when I lay hidden wast as morn
At city-windows, touching eyelids bleared;
To none by her fresh wingedness endeared;
Unwelcome unto revellers outworn.
I the last echoes of Diana's horn
In woodland heard, and saw thee come, and cheered.
No longer wast thou then mere light, fair soul!
And more than simple duty moved thy feet.
New colours rose in thee, from fear, from shame,
From hope, effused: though not less pure a scroll
May men read on the heart I taught to beat:
That change in thee, if not thyself, I claim.

By: George Meredith

#selflove #love #life #happiness #inspiration #mindfullness #healing #believe #grateful

See that pillow behind the pups? It was a gift fro

See that pillow behind the pups? It was a gift from @lisaalexis88. We had went to Disney together and every time I saw it, I wanted to buy it but never did. Then she surprised me with it one day. It's one of my favorite things. I didn't know it at the time but during that vacation, things in my life were starting to fall apart. This pillow, however, reminds me that the best people are still in my life.

It's ironic because when I was a kid, my dad took us on a huge memorable family vacation to Disney right before my parents got divorced. I don't know what it is about the happiest place on earth and divorce but I've seen a correlation.

My dad used to say that when relationships are in trouble, couples buy a house or have a kid. Twice in my life, I did the former. Both times it was in an effort to fix the unfixable ... and both times I paid dearly for that decision.

I'm still paying (figuratively and literally) for many decisions in my life but that is the price paid for a life lived.

I've been working on fixing all that for myself. I have a plan. I'm going to have my witchy botanical lair soon if it kills me. I want a nest for me and the pups to feel at home. This time I'm not doing it to fix anything.

This time I'm doing it to plant roots for myself. This time the energy spent will be for me. This time I will embrace the relationship with myself and feel the ease that comes with that. This time I will make decision for my greater good. When that time comes, I will put this pillow where it was meant to be ... in my home.

#selflove #love #life #happiness #inspiration #mindfullness #healing #believe #grateful

I have the most talented friends! Just got my co

I have the most talented friends!

Just got my copy of ‘One Way to the Podium’, A Photo Book by @otterlarouche.

He’s not only one of the nicest humans on the planet but truly one of the most talented. So happy to have this in my collection!

#motorcycle #art #fineart #photography #inspiration #photobook #love #life #pictures #bike #philly #motorbike #race #inspire #create

This picture was from a recent meditation session.

This picture was from a recent meditation session. The light was speaking to me. I have all air signs in my big three but I've always connected with fire.

I was telling a story recently about how the safest I’ve ever felt in my life was when my Grandfather Lundy was alive. I’m not sure anyone could give me that feeling of security every again. There was this kid that would follow me home from school and leave mixtapes on my the porch. One night I found him staring in our living room window. My Grandfather quickly figured out what was happening. One day when I got home from school, he told me to go inside. The kid was not far behind me and he never bothered me again after that day. I have no idea what happened or what my Grandpop said. I don’t care because with Grandpop around, I was always going to be ok.

I want that feeling again. That feeling of being able to lean in to someone and the knowing that they will catch you. My biggest problem with romantic relationships has always been trust. I completely trust the person on the surface but internally question every single thing that happens. My mind can make up the best stories, warranted or not.

This internal struggle builds up and leads to pure resentment which in turn leads a person questioning their own self worth ... or so I've heard.

I’ve learned something very important about myself. I require more reassurance than normal from a partner at this stage of my life. I may not need that forever but as I continue to heal it’s important to me.

And when I say reassurance I’m not talking about reassurance that they love me. I’m talking about reassurance that says they understand I’m on a journey to heal. The occasional, “Hey I’m thinking about you” goes a long way.

With great change comes reflection and that's what I’ve been doing. I put the blog back up as I may write more about this next phase in my life. Also it was really interesting to read what was in my head during the time when I had just lost so much. To be honest, there is so much I didn’t write about during that time so there is a lot more material!

#selflove #love #life #happiness #inspiration #mindfullness #healing #believe #grateful

Tomorrow is my birthday and also time for some new

Tomorrow is my birthday and also time for some new adventures.

For nearly 6 years, I’ve had the pleasure of working with some of the best people in the tech space at WebDevStudios. Lisa and Brad specifically have been incredible mentors and leaders. I’ve learned so much and will be forever grateful for the opportunity to work here but tomorrow is my last day.

So what’s next? I’m so honored and excited to share that I will be joining WordPress VIP as a Partner Manager officially on June 13th. I can’t wait to tackle all the new responsibilities that come with this role and to be part of this incredible team.

So tomorrow is going to be hard. Then I'm falling off the earth for the rest of the week to regroup 🙂

#birthday #grow #tech #wordpress #life #happiness #inspiration #mindfullness #believe #grateful

Happy Gemini New Moon! This new moon falls in my s

Happy Gemini New Moon! This new moon falls in my sun sign. I set so many intentions while channeling the ocean yesterday.

With my birthday coming up soon, the theme for me will be new adventures. I have been in a rut and feeling stuck. Repeating the same patterns over and over and wondering why things aren’t changing.

One of my favorite books is ‘Jitterbug Perfume’ by Tim Robbins. I was introduced to this book by one of my oldest and dearest friends on a trip to Portland one year. Ever since then I’ve incessantly talked about it. My absolute favorite quote from that book is:

‘The unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwelling on himself and start paying attention to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence. When you're unhappy, you get to pay a lot of attention to yourself. You get to take yourself oh so very seriously.’

Time for cheering up. For new adventures. To not taking myself too seriously. To new moons!

#selflove #love #life #happiness #inspiration #mindfullness #healing #believe #grateful #summer #beach #waves #newmoon #gemini

I took this picture of Frankie and noticed the bea

I took this picture of Frankie and noticed the beautiful colors on the ceiling.

I’d like to think that it’s a sign from someone or some thing bringing love and hope upon this household.

#selflove #love #life #happiness #inspiration #mindfullness #healing #believe #grateful #jackrussell #frankieandarya

Just a reminder that it’s OK to slow down and li

Just a reminder that it’s OK to slow down and live life with some ease.

Give yourself some grace.

There’s so much going on and it can often feel overwhelming.

It’s OK to order food instead of cooking, it’s OK not to do your full skin care routine every night, it’s OK if you sleep a little extra.

Sometimes we have to slow down and allow ourselves that time to heal.

This is my giant rubber tree. Her name is Big Red. She is 3 years old now. It was a gift to myself because someone had said something shitty to me and my feelings were really hurt. Now every time I look at her, I remind myself that it only matters how I talk to myself.

#selflove #love #life #happiness #inspiration #mindfullness #healing #believe #grateful

He is a perfect angel. My Frankie. #SirFrankie #r

He is a perfect angel. My Frankie.

#SirFrankie #rescuedogs #jackrussellterrier #phillydog #jugdog #selflove #love #life #happiness #inspiration #mindfullness #healing #believe #grateful

The last week has been exhausting. Most of you kno

Take me out to the ballgame!

Take me out to the ballgame!

‘To the Moon’ Art thou pale for weariness Of

‘To the Moon’

Art thou pale for weariness
Of climbing Heaven, and gazing on the earth,
Wandering companionless
Among the stars that have a different birth,—
And ever changing, like a joyless eye
That finds no object worth its constancy?

By: Percy Bysshe Shelley

Getting the babies ready for spring! ‘Yes: I am

Getting the babies ready for spring!

‘Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.’

-Oscar Wilde

The pups aren’t here this weekend. Last night I

The pups aren’t here this weekend.
Last night I had a dream that Frankie ran away. My phone was dead and I didn’t have access to a car so I was frantic. I was walking around screaming his name. Suddenly dogs came from everywhere but none were Frankie.
I went into a store and asked to use their phone so I could call someone to come help.
As I was waiting for my ride, I saw Arya and Frankie laying next to one another in the grass and I started crying because Frankie was back.
When I picked him up he was shaking, scared, filthy and had porcupine needles all over his mouth.

I woke up crying,

What does it mean??? 😂

#SirFrankie #AryaBark #rescuedogs #shihtzu #jackrussellterrier #phillydog #jugdog #love

Dear Universe (of whatever it is to you), This is

Dear Universe (of whatever it is to you),

This is my love letter. My letter of gratitude. The last couple of years have been wild to say the lest. Moving, divorce, loss, death, sickness to name a few.

At times, it felt isolating and downright terrifying.

But I work up this morning and I said good morning to Frankie and Arya. I came downstairs and made coffee, said hello the fish, lit a candle, and breathed deeply.

I’m not sure what the plan is or what I’m supposed to be doing. I just know that even in the darkest days, I still know myself.

I’m feisty, loyal to a fault, and at times even annoying. I will love unapologetically and fiercely. I will forever be curious and always a student. I’m loud and talk too much. I love music, books, plants, and animals. I love to cook and bake and I will do it all in heels aka my cooking shoes.

If nothing else ever happened in my life, that would be enough.

Happy 2/22/22 day. Enjoy today’s magic.

Mondays amIright? #SirFrankie #AryaBark #rescuedo

Mondays amIright?

#SirFrankie #AryaBark #rescuedogs #shihtzu #jackrussellterrier #phillydog #jugdog #love

Last night I read something that said, “You real

Last night I read something that said, “You realize that people don’t fall in love with you, they fall in love with the way you make them feel. You reflect the best in them and love their worst. You’ve never been more than a drug addition”.

Some people responded and said that isn’t accurate because people that don’t love themselves can’t love anyone else. Others suggested that love is not that simple. No one could agree. I felt the original poster’s sentiment but it puts the responsibility on one party. That is not always the case. Before anyone yells at me in my DM‘s, there are always exceptions.

Unhealed trauma surfaces itself in all kinds of way. For me it takes the road of the enabler. I will go out of way to make sure everyone has what they need and sacrifice parts of myself in the process.

I’m not proud of this. While my intentions are always good, I want something in return. I need validation that I’m worthy … and I believe my worth is demonstrated by doing all the things. And round and round and round we go. That’s my drug.

This pattern is past trauma screaming at me to acknowledge it, feel it, and heal it. I did not mean for that to rhyme.

So here we are. I’m feeling it. I’m feeling it deep.

#selflove #love #life #happiness #inspiration #mindfullness #healing #believe #grateful #trauma #healing #spirituality

Some of my favs. @lostcauze and @rsonthevoice @ga

Some of my favs. @lostcauze and @rsonthevoice @gangstagrass

Oh what a night!

#selflove #love #life #happiness #inspiration #mindfullness #healing #believe #grateful #music #philly

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About Jodie Fiorenza
Contact

Izzabeth.com

screwing up and fixing it since '76.